The funniest thing I’ve heard this month comes from Elementary on CBS. The suspect is being questioned and responds (roughly):
I couldn’t have killed him. I’m a vegan.
I was too busy laughing to be sure of Sherlock and Joan’s reaction but they seemed to take the suspect seriously. If they ever get us under the hot lights we’re thinking of saying: We couldn’t have killed him. We are a conservative. How that will go? Perhaps self-identifying as a meat-eater will help.